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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29517972">Dist goes to Gamestop</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/'>Anonymous</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Tales of the Abyss</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, Hell</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>1999-08-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>1999-08-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 16:31:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,031</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29517972</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Anonymous</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Dist goes to Gamestop</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/meliaantiqua/gifts">meliaantiqua</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I don't know where Dist is. And honestly I Don't care. You don't care either. My fucked sleep Scheduled will not let me do Anything useful.</p>
<p>"Ugh," Dist grumbles. "I truly hate this place," He says more to himself, kicking a poor rock that didn't do anything, but hey maybe Dist just has a deep seated hatred of rocks.</p>
<p>"Well you can always leave, you know," A far too familiar voice said. Oh, who else would it belong to but Jade, a man that he holds such a deep history with. A first friend of his that changed into a crush after the Lice Incident. A brightness in his life he had, still wished he could match. But Jade abandoned him, without knowing his real feelings. To abandon him, abandoning their mutual pursuit of knowledge, a betrayal he hadn't entirely recovered from. The freak dubbed Jade Curtiss is here, and he has the gall to sit on a bench. Behind him no less.</p>
<p>"Oh, and what would a cur like YOU doing here?" Dist asks, trying to spit at this freak. His contempt had better get across.<br/>His right arm is stretched across the back of the bench, and his hand gibes a noncommittal wave. "Oh I was simply taking a walk to clear my mind. Hardly expected to find you here," Jade dismisses.</p>
<p>Dist tries to formulate something to spit at him, about how he left him, how he could still come back with their research is still waiting for them, but Jade interjects a suggestion to him,</p>
<p>"Why don't you come sit down next to me? I know quite well It's unlike you to be standing when you can sit."</p>
<p>Truthfully, he actually would very much just leave at this point than spend another second around this jackass. Damn him for expending so much of his already low phyical energy earlier.</p>
<p>"Under normal circumstances, I would choose otherwise. I would simply walk back to the comfort of my throne. But alas, all this work has left me weary, and requiring a rest. So consider yourself lucky,<em> Jade</em>, knowing you will be blessed in my presence for this brief moment, seeing our interests collide for a change."</p>
<p>And with his theatrics finished, he finally slumps onto the bench across from Jade. Trying to keep a distance. But he's wishing for closeness, it IS Jade after all.</p>
<p>"Come now, Dist, sit next to me." Jade says casually, with a smile. Maybe Dist should know better than to trust anything that power bottom says, knowing how often he's working for some ulterior motive.<br/>"It's just like you to push against boundaries, you know that?", he shifts closer to Jade anyways. He'll indulge the snake on this and not, not for his own personal desires.</p>
<p>The arm that Jade had lounging on the Bench lowers itself around his shoulder, resting between Dist's neck and shoulder, and he most definitely is not enjoying this.</p>
<p>A gloved thumb runs across Dist's lips, and he felt his rabies flaring up-- Did you know that Auldrant has non lethal rabies? Dist, or rather, Saphir, contracted rabies when he was attacked the original Nebilim replica. Fortunately, Dist remained relatively unharmed, because Jade has experience hunting. But fortune means nothing when fate is a comedian. Like rabies in our world, there doesn't exit a cure once one contracts it. That's why he became so fucked up. I also think his parents are anti-vaccination, but that is a headcanon I will not be discussing in the future.</p>
<p>When Jade's hand pulls away, There's a sharp grasp against his shoulder that jostles him-- Did his expression always look that serious while he was sitting?</p>
<p>"Now listen to me Saphir," Jade began, tone dark, curse him for using such an intimate name with him. "I am talking directly in your ear now. I have a favor I must ask of you. And one that you will do for me."<br/>"I need you to go to the Keterburg Gamestop, and tell the bastard working at the counter to hand over their copy of Bambi for the Ps2. And if you come back empty handed, you will be in big trouble. I won't let you see the light of day again, you understand? You will do this for me, Saphir."</p>
<p>There's a silence between the two of them, before a response is spoken.</p>
<p>"Well, I suppose I'll see what I can do."</p>
<p>Right, of course he would do this for him. Because they can't go back to how things are, but if there's a chance for him to try again, he'll take it. Ah, someone as glorious as him is always willing to let those back into his life.</p>
<p>The grip on his shoulder softens, and Jade's expression perks up. "I'm quite glad we could reach an agreement :)." Jade gets to his feet, "And I shall be taking my leave with this," He doesn't dare question how Jade manages to say ":)". He doesn't know what nefarious needs that Jade requires Bambi for the Ps2 of all things for.</p>
<p>But he'll do it. He'll do anything if it means they could have a chance once more to bring back Nebilim.</p>
<hr/>
<p>He's left the Flightstone in care of guy whose name I forgot. He's penned up a quick letter to distract the twerps (And known non-twerp jade). And now, the great Dist is back in his homeland of Keterburg. He will see that Bambi for the PS2 is retrieved for Jade from his homeland Gamestop. I care a lot about this being canon compliant.</p>
<p>Ah yes, the nostalgic smell of games floods Dists senses when he enters the Keterburg Gamestop. All the memories come flooding back now that he's here. First thing he takes note of-- None of the shelves say PS2. He must attain guidance from the Used games Bin. Now let's see, what do they have in here?</p>
<p>Garbage that isn't Bambi, more of the same filth, Oh, a Copy of Crazy Frog Racer 2, he always enjoyed that game so he'll get that at least, more Garbage. Games games games, All these games that would likely fetch an absurd price on eBay.</p>
<p>But no Bambi for the Ps2.</p>
<p>Hm.</p>
<p>Well, it looks like this Calls for the assistance of the Underpaid Gamestop employee working at the counter. "Out of my way!" He shoves the person in line onto the ground, causing them to clip out of this plane of reality. "You there!" He barks at the cashier.<br/>"Can I help you?" They ask looking up.</p>
<p>"Where would I be able to locate Bambi for the PS2?" Dist demands. "I rummaged through all of your trash labelled Used Games, and found Crazy Frog Racer 2. But I did NOT find Bambi for PS2."</p>
<p>"If it's not in the used game bin, then we probably don't have any copies of it. Sorry man."<br/>What? No, they MUST own a copy of the game somewhere in the store. Jade wouldn't do something as ridiculous as asking for a game that isn't at The Keterburg Gamestop.<br/>"No, I'm sure you most definitely do have Bambi for the PS2," He feels his tone rising "You WILL tell me where it is, and you WILL surrender it to me!"</p>
<p>"Well sir I'm not sure where it would be if you couldn't." Oh, they think this is funny, huh?</p>
<p>"Now you just listen to me," Dist began, "I am Dist the Rose, one of the Six Glorious God generals! To refuse me is to pit yourself against the Order of Lorelei! And I will not leave this establishment without Bambi for the PS2!" He slams his hands on the counter.</p>
<p>Such a display would be quite terrifying to people in other jobs, and rightfully so, but being an underpaid Gamestop employee just made this yet another Tuesday. They sighed, pinching the bridge of their nose and firmly shutting their eyes. They really don't get paid to put up with this shit. "Look, I can check in the back if there's any copies of Bambi for the PS2, but if there isn't then you'll need to go elsewhere to get it."</p>
<p>"Yes, please do! And I will require a full explanation for why you would hide this from me!" Dist scolds the employee as the enter an Employee only zone. Oh, so this is one of THOSE places, where they hide the knowledge from the public, huh! He'll show them. He'll show them all for their inconvenience. </p>
<p>The employee emerges from the backroom with nothing. "Sorry, found nothing," They apologized, and he could TELL this was a mocking apology.</p>
<p>That's it. He was DONE being insulted.</p>
<p>"Grrr," He stormed to the entrance. "You'll be hearing about this on YELP!" He shouts, before slamming the door to the Gamestop. Asshole didn't pay for Crazy Frog Racer 2. <br/>Well fine. Fine, if the Gamestop wants to be pitted against him, then Jade will assist him in this Task, and he will be understanding. Yes, once he reaches Keterburg, all will be fixed. He simply needs to wait outside for his help.</p>
<hr/>
<p>"They sure don't let you smoke weed in Daath like they Used to," Guy laments, as the crew is reading the letter that Dist had sent them. Leave it to him to make the mood if no one else could. "Well That's because many people we getting scammed into thinking oregano was weed," Natalia explained.</p>
<p>Innocent small talk that helped lighten the mood for some, but Jade's mood was completely irreparable, drowning himself in thoughts regarding this letter. No, not for the contents, but for the lack of anything attached. One would think that, were Dist successful in the quest for Bambi, he would have something to show for it. </p>
<p>Alas, he does not.</p>
<p>Looks like Dist can now has a big Trouble!</p>
<hr/>
<p>Dist is disoriented. He is certainly not outside where he was before passing out. <br/>He also does not remember Jade with him in any capacity.<br/>Then things start piecing together for him. Oh right, he had nearly frozen to death, waiting for Jade to come assist him in getting Bambi for the PS2. </p>
<p>"Did you obtain Bambi?" He asks, once Dist is engaged with the mortal plane.</p>
<p>"N, no, the bastards at Gamestop claimed they didn't have it."</p>
<p>"So I can presume you are mocking me with this, Dist?" Jade is holding his copy of Crazy Frog Racer 2, before dropping it. "I will make you pay for your crimes against Bambi." WHAM, he hit the floor as a realization hit Dist as well. Though Dist may let his emotions cloud his judgement, a realization dawned upon him, and damn him for not noticing sooner.<br/>"You're not Jade are you?"</p>
<p>There's silence between the two, before a smile comes from Jade's face. Then his Face falls off, and it shatters into little pieces against the floor. Oh, Dist gets a good look at what he's become-- nothing but a shell, his insides have been turned into A Gundam to pilot. To think they would do that to Jade of all people. And out steps a round green woman. Round quiet literally-- she's a green thin circle with luscious eyelashes and nice lips. She breastily lacked breasts as her heels clicked onto the floor.<br/>"And you only now realize this?"<br/>Dist chuckles, still oblivious to the situation, "It's better late than never."</p>
<p>"You fool," The Green M&amp;M laughs. "I made Jade my puppet. Mohs has become the puppet of my dearest Brown M&amp;M. Win, loose, It Matters not, for We will turn the humans of Auldrant into M&amp;M's," She adds on. If only he knew sooner, then he would have killed that Parasitic fuck before she got the chance to do this.</p>
<p>"And you," A pause, "Will be powerless to stop this."</p>
<p>She snaps her fingers. FWOOM, Dist is then warped to hell, but things are fucked, it's M&amp;M Hell. He is crucified by M&amp;M Satan. The children are encouraged to throw rocks at him.</p>
<p>I still hear him screaming.</p>
<p>I want him to die.</p>
<p>This is my thesis behind Bigger Dist Theory. Don't subcribse. :/</p>
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